Tumblr (3.0; @smaugiscute)http://smaugiscute.tumblr.com/<p>My boyfriend is a musician. He is in a band and he doesn&#8217;t care that they will probably never get signed, or that he is dirt poor or that his band mates come and go like actors on a stage. He will make it. He has dedicated his entire life to his music and he will let nothing and no one (including myself) hold him back. It is one of the main reasons I love him so much.</p> <p>I am jealous of him sometimes. I call myself a writer, and I love my art and the way that words sometimes just flow out of my hands and onto the screen like God willed them to be there, but I cannot give up a job to write. No one will pay me to write becuase I am not good enough. I am never good enough. He can go on gigs, or just play in the street to make money and get noticed. I sit in a dark room typing away and there is no one there to read my words.</p> <p>I don&#8217;t want to sound like I am waiting for the world to hand me something that I deserve, I know better than that from my own experience and from watching the love of my life struggle with <em>his</em> love of his life. Nothing will be handed to me.</p> <p>But I have read all the &#8220;how to get published&#8221; books, I have talked to authors, submitted countless short stories and plays to numerous publishers to no avail. I am a writer who has lost all ideas. My boyfriend, who loves me very much and understands my struggle, wants to help me but this is not his element. So, I have turned to the internet, the vast black hole of words, hopes, and dreams to send these words to someone who will read them and finally say that I am good enough and that my writing is good enough.</p> <p>For I am starting to have doubts.</p>http://smaugiscute.tumblr.com/post/3799216483http://smaugiscute.tumblr.com/post/3799216483Fri, 11 Mar 2011 23:09:14 -0500“I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things I have not.”<br/><br/> - <em>Lucille Ball</em>http://smaugiscute.tumblr.com/post/3798889733http://smaugiscute.tumblr.com/post/3798889733Fri, 11 Mar 2011 22:53:00 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhxeimpklC1qi03zwo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Hey there cyberspace!</p> <p>I tried to post something else but I got an error message and I don’t know if it went through…</p> <p>So in case it didn’t. Hi! I’m a writer, read my stuff please ;-)</p>http://smaugiscute.tumblr.com/post/3798756945http://smaugiscute.tumblr.com/post/3798756945Fri, 11 Mar 2011 22:47:00 -0500